Kingsman: The Golden Circle

★★

Kingsman: The Secret Service brought a breath of fresh air to what was rapidly becoming a genre that was taking itself too seriously. With Skyfall, the Total Recall reboot and The Bourne Legacy all releasing in 2012, the genre was desperate for something fresh and novel. Kingsman provided exactly that, a film that was silly for the sake of being silly, but still created genuine emotional moments in this silly setting in the vein of Groundhog Day or Toy Story. Kingsman: The Golden Circle appears to begin in the same way. A smartly shot action sequence followed by a sweet moment of heart in the movie, but by the time that you reach the end of this 140 minute slog, you feel it was artificial and soulless, because that's what the rest of this movie was. 



Rather than trying to be its own movie, like its predecessor, The Golden Circle is a sequel that has forgotten where it came from. There are over a dozen call-backs to the first movie - that's one every 10 minutes, and none of them are justified, apart from maybe one because it's central to the plot. It's jarring and it doesn't make any sense unless you've seen the first movie and yes I know it's a sequel but the jokes are done so awkwardly and were clearly forced in to the script like a slug through a keyhole.

Another enormous problem with the movie is the return of Colin Firth. Now, I have no problem with Colin Firth, I think he's wonderful in the first film, he's ok in this second instalment, but his return makes nothing mean anything anymore. Maybe a slight plot spoiler is that Colin Firth returns at all, he was very clearly dead in Kingsman 1, but no he's back and it's because of some cool technology that repairs people's brains, cause that's where he got shot. Halle Berry (nothing more than a shit version of Simon Pegg in Mission Impossible 3) quickly applies the magical healing substance and hey presto King George lives on! The issue with this is that now I don't care if anyone is in danger, they'll just be brought back. In fact, (plot spoilers ahead) this magic stuff even brings back to life ANOTHER person, thus diminishing the tension even more.



This plot device was excused by the co-writer and director Matthew Vaughn as the best parts of Kingsman 1 was the relationship and heartfelt moments between Harry and Eggsy (Firth and Egerton). But instead of putting in some effort and trying to recreate this dynamic with characters who are still alive, perhaps Merlin or Roxy who were excellent characters in the last film, the writers just threw Firth back in.

The irony is that the device instead of improving the emotional quality of the film completely undermines it, because there is no more investment in these characters. When they are in peril you can't help but think that it doesn't matter what happens, they'll be back in Kingsman 3 (which will undoubtedly happen). Even an incredibly emotional moment late in the film is punctured by this, and although I was sad I couldn't help but remember the stupid thing that brought back Colin Firth's character.



The bizzare inclusion of Elton John is also amiss with me. I have no idea why he is in this movie beyond the first scene. The cameo was fun and was what Kingsman was all about, but using someone who is very clearly not a good actor as an actual plot device is beyond ridiculous to me. Julianne Moore doesn't do anything in this film. She just sort of sits there being creepily kind and evil at the same time. She is fun as a villain in the same way Sam Jackson was a fun villain in the first film but I just wish she had more to do.

The statesmen are fun for 10 minutes. It's bizzare to me that they introduce the one who will be the least developed of the statesmen first. The statesmen also prove to be a horrific waste of Jeff Bridges whose character was also almost entirely yawn-inducing. I think he genuinely has less than 3 minutes of screen time. The novelty of the statesmen lasts all of around 10 minutes before we realise that they aren't going to be doing anything of substance.



Kingsman 1 was also weirdly and quietly subversive. It deliberately went out of its way to subvert the audience's expectations of a spy caper. The line "This ain't that kinda movie" is regularly and well used. But make no mistake, Kingsman 2 very much is that kind of movie. Even the first's subversion of sex and gender in the spy genre was betrayed in The Golden Circle. The "bum note" in the original has a case for playing with audience expectations for a spy movie. The Glastonbury sequence in this sequel is, quite simply, ridiculous, and stinks of a filmmaker that has simply out of ideas.

The film does have some merit to it. In all fairness the action scenes are incredibly well done. They are shot in such a way that is reminiscent of stop motion, and almost looks unreal. This of course plays to the wider themes in Kingsman: The Golden Circle of a bizzaro and subversive version of the spy caper, yet this subversiveness is lost elsewhere, rather, the movie provides us with a by-the-numbers phoned in sequel, which will almost certainly make enormous amounts of money. It's good to see Channing Tatum in an enjoyable role, and Colin Firth alongside Taron Egerton do a good job as the leads, even if it makes little sense.

You might have fun, if you go and see The Golden Circle. It attempts to hide its formulaic and lazy nature with a facade of self-awareness and subversion, which has simply gone absent from the script. Holes are filled with flashy action, a bulging cast, and a sense of humour which resembles that of a nine year old relative who made you laugh once with a silly joke, so repeats it again and again, with slight, non-variations. Forcing its brilliant jokes upon you, because it's clearly the Groundhog Day of 2017, Kingsman: The Golden Circle is a farce of a movie.